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Five Reasons not to be a Cock. :) - You don't know me. — LiveJournal [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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Five Reasons not to be a Cock. :) [Jun. 18th, 2005|08:15 pm]
[mood |apatheticapathetic]
[music |My cocacola fizzling]

1. You're bald your whole life.
2. You have a hole in your head.
3. Your neighbors are nuts.
4. The guy behind you is an asshole.
5. Every time you get excited, you throw up and then faint.

[User Picture]From: pennylanelives
2005-06-19 07:57 pm (UTC)
Penis Request,

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor
I work at great depths
I plunge head first into everything I do
I do not get weekends or public holidays off
I work in a damp environment
I don't get paid overtime
I work in a dark place that has poor ventilation
I work in high temperatures
My work exposes me to contagious diseases

Dear penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight
You fall asleep on the job after brief periods of work
You do not always follow orders of the management team
You do not stay in your designated area and are often visiting other locations.
You do not take initiative; you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You do not always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing
You will retire well before you are 65
You are unable to work double shifts
You sometimes leave your designated work before you have completed the assigned task.
And if that were not all, you have been constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags.

The Management
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: randomposting
2005-06-19 10:58 pm (UTC)
I LOVE this.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: pennylanelives
2005-06-20 09:25 am (UTC)
hehehe... me too :D
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)