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Oh woe is you? [Jan. 30th, 2007|12:20 am]
randomposting
[mood |soresore]
[music |Ferry 'Cross The Mersey - Gerry & The Pacemakers]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WSOGmMHcNo4&NR

Talking Dogs. :) Especially listen to the evil cackle between seconds 13-15. Wow!!


And this was supposedly posted in some church newsletter. I mean, I don't doubt that there are churches that would post this, but you can't believe everything you see on the internet.

All the same... according to these guidelines, are you a goth?

--If Your Child is a Gothic, Reform Through the Lord!

Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your child may have
gone astray from the Lord. Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and
often dangerous culture that young teenagers are prone to
participating in. The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds
into an imagined world of evil, darkness, and violence. Please seek
immediate attention through counseling, prayer, and parental guidance
to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five or more of the
following apply to your child:

-Frequently wears black clothing.
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nail polish.
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn
Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the
Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the
Bible, prayer, church or sports.
-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult,
witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.
-Takes drugs.
-Drinks alcohol.
-Is suicidal and/or depressed.
-Complains of boredom.
-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
-Is excessively awake during the night.
-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to
vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
-Spends large amounts of time alone.
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your child may
speak to evil sprits through meditation.)
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are
but a few examples of this.
-Misbehaves at school.
-Misbehaves at home.
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Chocula cereal is an example of this.
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask
your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.
-Expresses an interest in sex.
-Masturbates


If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene
immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within
it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your
local mental health center."
linkReply

Comments:
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From: truelovechild
2007-01-30 11:12 pm (UTC)
Wow. According to this, my 4 year old nephew has gone astray from the lord.

And we won't even talk about how many categories I fit into.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: randomposting
2007-01-30 11:14 pm (UTC)
haha, right!? My kiddo's strayed too, by this list. Nothing like satanic toddlers!
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: allcyon
2007-01-30 11:18 pm (UTC)
Holy crap, random. That was beautiful. I spit coffee all over my monitor at the Count Chocula bit. When I finally stopped laughing, I read "watches cable television" and lost it all over again.

As usual, well done.

Much love.

~Donavenn
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: randomposting
2007-01-30 11:24 pm (UTC)
;) Much love darling. Glad to share the amusement.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: dontpanic42
2007-01-30 11:53 pm (UTC)
oh no! not the sinful countchocula!
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: randomposting
2007-01-31 01:00 am (UTC)
Right!? ;)
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: megwings
2007-01-31 12:27 am (UTC)
Oh, crap. EVERY TEENAGER EVER IS GOTHIC AND THUS WORSHIPS SATAN!

Man, that is most definately lol-worthy.

It's always kinda lame though when crazy fanatic STUPID Christians make the rest of us relatively normal people look bad. :(

I seriously hope there aren't any teenagers stuck in mental institutions because their parents took thi skind of thing to heart. x.x
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: megwings
2007-01-31 12:30 am (UTC)
Hm, crazy fanatic STUPID Christians make the rest of us relatively normal Christians look bad, I should have said. That line could have been misconstrued I think. ANYWAY! :p
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread) (Expand)
[User Picture]From: tjoel2
2007-01-31 03:05 am (UTC)
Holy crap! My son had Count Chocula cereal for breakfast yesterday (no joke!) and he was so frickin hyper last night that I was ready to pull my hair out. Now I get it! It's Goth food! :}
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: randomposting
2007-01-31 03:15 am (UTC)
LOL! There you go! :)
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: cloakofnonsense
2007-01-31 03:52 am (UTC)
my friend had to hand those out at her church once, only they were about reforming your homosexual child.

i don't remember if she had come out by that time--but she has now.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: randomposting
2007-01-31 03:57 am (UTC)
lol. WOW. Well, it only goes to show ya.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
From: pink_lemons
2007-01-31 03:57 am (UTC)
According to that list, I'm the anti-Christ.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: randomposting
2007-01-31 03:58 am (UTC)
Haha. ;)
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: locomiel
2007-01-31 03:43 pm (UTC)
im so jacking this to post on myspace. that's priceless.....
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: randomposting
2007-02-01 11:19 pm (UTC)
=)
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: xenaamazon
2007-01-31 06:11 pm (UTC)

Ummmmm....

I consider myself goth......
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: randomposting
2007-02-01 11:22 pm (UTC)

Re: Ummmmm....

Okay.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
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