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groaners [Dec. 20th, 2006|05:37 pm]
[Current Location |employed]
[mood |blahblah]

Where do lions live?

"On MANE Street."

haha... sorry. I'm weird. ;)

What's your favorite BAD joke?


AND LOL. Zoobilee Zoo's Peer Gynt.

I am Peer Gynt yes I am!... etc. Fun. :)

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[User Picture]From: iseestarsinyou
2006-12-20 04:42 pm (UTC)
did you hear the one about the monkeys? they went bananas!
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[User Picture]From: randomposting
2006-12-21 04:28 am (UTC)
;) Right in the same avenue. Nice.
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[User Picture]From: happyfriday
2006-12-20 04:43 pm (UTC)
ask me if I'm a truck driver.
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From: tommiie
2006-12-20 04:48 pm (UTC)
Hey, are you a truck driver?

/braces for impact
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[User Picture]From: neotatsu
2006-12-20 04:50 pm (UTC)
Eve: "Did you hear the latest about Jane Simmons who lives over on the next block? "
Sheli: " No, what about her?"
Eve: "She had triplets. Then not two weeks later, she had twins."
Sheli: "That's Impossible.! How did it happen?"
Eve: "One of the triplets got lost."

....I could come up with hundreds of them...
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[User Picture]From: neotatsu
2006-12-20 04:53 pm (UTC)
A man runs into the doctors office and says "Doctor, I think I have a memory problem!"

The doctor replies "How long have you had the problem?"

"What problem?"
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[User Picture]From: librarific
2006-12-20 04:58 pm (UTC)
Why did the bird go to the doctor?

For TWEETment...
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[User Picture]From: randomposting
2006-12-21 04:31 am (UTC)
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[User Picture]From: zibacco
2006-12-20 05:37 pm (UTC)

Lions, but no tigers or bears

Why don't blind people like to sky dive?
Because it scares the hell out of the dog.

The worst joke I know I learned from my Dad, but its incredibly misogynistic and about domestic abuse so I don't often repeat it.
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[User Picture]From: randomposting
2006-12-21 04:34 am (UTC)

Re: Lions, but no tigers or bears


-- well, now you just gotta. Go on. Do it!
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[User Picture]From: skafunkmelt
2006-12-20 05:48 pm (UTC)
Zoobilee Zoo! I used to watch this all the time when I was little. :)

I can't remember the set-up, but it's something like:

Q. What were the names of the fireman's two sons?
A. Jose and Hose B (josB?).

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[User Picture]From: randomposting
2006-12-21 04:34 am (UTC)
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[User Picture]From: synthiacat
2006-12-20 06:01 pm (UTC)
What's the difference between a camera and a sock?

A camera takes photos, and a sock takes five toes.
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[User Picture]From: randomposting
2006-12-21 04:38 am (UTC)
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[User Picture]From: jewddha
2006-12-20 06:04 pm (UTC)
A bear walks into a bar, sits down and says, "I'll have a gin..................and tonic."
The bartender says, "Sure, but what's with the big pause?"
The bear looks back and shrugs, "I'm a bear!"
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[User Picture]From: randomposting
2006-12-21 04:39 am (UTC)
Boooooo. ;)
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[User Picture]From: cloakofnonsense
2006-12-20 06:36 pm (UTC)
okay, so there's this guy and he's going diving for the first time. he asks his diving instructor if there will be any sharks in the water. the driving instructor says, "sure. but if you see one, just punch him in the nose and he'll swim away."

so the guy gets in the water and he's swimming around, and sure enough, a shark swims up to him. before he knows it, he's surrounded by six sharks. the guy takes a deep breath and punches the first shark in the nose.

the shark says, "dude, i wasn't going to eat you, but the guys are watching now."

i think my friends and i are the only ones who ever laugh at this...mostly because it's not really funny.
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[User Picture]From: happyfriday
2006-12-20 06:38 pm (UTC)
hehehe *giggle giggle*

no, it made me laugh.

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[User Picture]From: loco_cerveza
2006-12-20 07:20 pm (UTC)
What do you call it when I white horse falls in to the mud?

A dirty Joke.
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[User Picture]From: randomposting
2006-12-21 04:41 am (UTC)
*shakes head*
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[User Picture]From: sixstringcat
2006-12-20 07:28 pm (UTC)
Ah yes, Grieg's Peer Gynt Suite. Awesome.
I used to LOVE Zoobilee Zoo...major memories of 80s PBS and eating peanut butter sandwiches flooding back.
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[User Picture]From: lil_miss_s
2006-12-20 08:06 pm (UTC)
Why did the Turtle Cross the Road

To get to the Shell Station

*Scratches head - I wonder if they have Shell in the states*
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From: (Anonymous)
2006-12-20 08:40 pm (UTC)
Yes, we have Shell stations in the states/

Cute joke too!!! lol
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From: lostways
2006-12-20 08:44 pm (UTC)
HAHAH that made my little cuzin groan with bad

what do you call a top of a coffee cup?

a toffiee!
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[User Picture]From: randomposting
2006-12-21 04:44 am (UTC)
Yay! Glad to spread the groans.
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[User Picture]From: randomposting
2006-12-21 04:46 am (UTC)
I'm confused...
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[User Picture]From: toothlesshag
2006-12-20 09:58 pm (UTC)
A bear walked into a bar and demanded a beer. But the bartender said, "I'm sorry, sir, we don't serve beer to bears."

Then the bear said, "Give me a beer, you stupid idiot."

And the bartender said, "I'm sorry, we don't serve beer to rude bears."

Then the bear shouted, "GIVE ME A BEER, YOU STUPID IDIOT."

And the bartender said, "I'm sorry, we don't serve beer to rude, angry bears."

Then the bear said, "OK, if you don't give me a beer, I'm going to eat a CUSTOMER!"

But the bartender said, "Go ahead. I'm still not going to serve you."

So the bear went over to a woman in a red dress sipping her cocktail. He devoured her whole. Then he came back and said, "Right, you idiot, now give me a beer."

But the bartender said, "I'm sorry, we don't serve rude, angry bears that are on drugs."

The bear said, "Hey! I'm not on drugs!"

"Well," said the bartender, "you are now. That was the bar bitch you ate."
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[User Picture]From: randomposting
2006-12-21 04:47 am (UTC)
Oooh, you changed hte lion thing I was like "huh? " lol
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