Well, that's definitely where it's from. Do you feel it is an appropriate way to run a marriage? Do you feel bad for those women that lived that way, or do you think they were happy?
Make the evening his. Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.
So, when exactly do women get to be treated to... anything in this era? I'm glad I wasn't alive then. Ick.
They got to be treated to their wifely duties! What an honor not to be a spinster. To have a family to serve.
the "Do's" are okay, if they were followed by: "Husbands - please follow the above rules as well" ;)
the don'ts....are a load of crap lol.
Exactly!!! I think marriage is a marriage.. A marriage of duty and responsibility in a basis of love, and that's how it should be.
I have some vintage etiquette and home manuals from the 50's, 30's, and 1910s. Though they are retrogressive in our sense, they weren't so blantely...weird. A Guide to Charm by, Helen Valentine, d.1938, even advocated: "Hair, like any other part of your body, should be washed when it is dirty." Yes, I agree. However, here's the next part that cracks me up: "If you live in an industrial center, where coal dust rules the waves, hair needs laundering once or twice a week." Once or twice a week is you live in an dirty area! I would say twice a day!!!
Can you scan that page in? I would love to see that, and maybe post it. :)
I would of had to stay single....
Certainly not every couple followed this.
cue: betty friedan (sp?)
i mean, i'm sure it worked for some . . .
but i agree with the above, it's doing actions like the "do's" for eachother that matter
i can definately understand why some mothers were terribly unhappy though
to not be able to use your own intellectual abilities and to be just a mirror for your husband, reflecting back what he wants to see, sounds not only awfully boring, but so unfulfilling
i mean, at least servants get paid
Seems more like slavery. :(
on the one hand, it does present a nice home to come home to. and if it were equal opportunity (ie, men encouraged to do it for women as well), i don't think it'd be such bad advice.
on the other hand...it's typical fifties illusions of happiness. rock on vagina warriors.
Precisely. I think it's great advice for a couple to follow together for the do's.
Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the home just before your husband arrives, gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too.
I know I feel better when my house is clean. I get more work done when I don't have 'picking up my room' as a procrastination measure. But how is DAILY dusting of the coffee table supposed to give me a lift?!!
I think my head will explode from reading that.
That's almost as bad as an old Christian Sex Manual.
For real! I shoudl track one of those down!
I want a wife like that lol, it would make coming home a real pleasure instead of a chore, not having to make dinner or clean after work, wow, it must be nice. while i dont think its too bad, and it fits the time, i think everyone could use it constructively just not taking it to the extremes, because it does give good tips on make the home a more peaceful and relaxing place.
and i know people are probably going to give me a ration of shit for it, but i dont think it is all that bad, it was just taken to too much of an extreme in that period of time
Do you think that this would be only for the wife to follow? Shouldn't this be for both parties of the marriage to follow to make a healthy living and loving environment, or do you believe in "traditional" wife roles?
k...I'm old fashioned. I know. Personally, that passage made me smile. Sorry feminists...that's the kind of life I'd like to live. Stay at home, take care of the kids, help with their homework, do the dishes, etc. Let the man go out and be the big money-maker. I don't go to the extent of not putting any value on my own feelings/stresses/etc, but I see no problem with being a SAHM and putting the responsibility on myself. Thank God for not having to go to work every day! (*sigh*....the one thing I miss about being married...)
I just feel that the household, regardless of who's working and who isn't need to be the responsibility of both parents.
If you're beign a stay at home Mom ( As I was for a great deal of time) that's a full time job in itself. I think that cooking, and cleaning though should be a joint procedure. But it's all about each persons preferences. I'm not trying to be insulting to you at all, that's great that it's worked for you. Just letting you know where I'm coming from. :)
Dare I ask the roles in the bedroom?
The passage is sad; it does not reflect the fact that every person and marriage is different. Also, it describes a two-dimensional wife; many people who find this passage of 'lovely domesticity' resonating with them would probably agree that the wife role, the woman's life, is an addendum onto the husband portrayed in the passage.
I think it's also worth stating that while this is nowhere near the role I would fill myself, I know several woman (and men, too) who find fulfillment in the housewife role- particular when kids are part of the family.
Interesting. Definitely not for me. And, definitely not something that I think should appear in a school textbook.
I agree on all counts. The fact it was in a textbook just horrifies me. If it was in a Woman's World or Womans Day or Better Homes and Gardens of the day that would be acceptable, given the time frame and beliefs of that time.
And I too know many women who love the fullfillment of domestic life, but most of them like their husbands to pitch in too.
I think I'm too modern for the whole attitude, but I think it's always nice to be so selfless for those we love. I am not a good cook, I don't organize well, and I don't want a kid that is my own for a while, but my boyfriend does work for me and I want to make him happy.
But yeah, in a textbook, that's fucked up. I would slap my daughter for reading that shit before she is old enough to marry. People let others guide them too much. I think relationships are inevitable, we need to make sure people get other things before that.
I agree it's great to be selfless for others, but it's nice when those others are selfless for you too. Otherwise I feel people can be easily taken advantage of.