Its an incredibly selfish answer, but ruining the greatest thing I've ever had in my life by hurting the most wonderful person I've ever known. Its stupid really, that I think one day and one event could have saved a failing relationship (it's almost teenage angsty of me) but I'd like to think it could.
I understand. I was thinking that I'd give anything to have spent the day before she died with my Mom. Selfish, but it would have made me feel a lot better, to know that she had a good day, before she died.