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Take-Out Small Talk - You don't know me. — LiveJournal [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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Take-Out Small Talk [Oct. 20th, 2005|09:55 pm]
[mood |sadsad]
[music |Jackie Joan and Ethel: The Women of Camelot]

A man goes to a restaurant, orders some takeout, and sits down to wait for his food.
While he waits, he grabs a handful of peanuts from the bowl on the counter, and as he starts to chew, he hears a voice say, "That's a beautiful tie, is that silk? Very NICE choice!"

Wondering who made the comment, he looks around and doesn't see anyone nearby who could be speaking to him. With a shrug, he pops a few more peanuts into his mouth.

Next he hears the voice say, "Those shoes are stylin', my man. Are they Italian leather? They look GRRREAT!"

He whirls around to again but sees no one near him. He glances nervously around and then at his shoes, which he tucks self-consciously under the stool.

A little freaked out, he grabs another handful of peanuts. This time the voice continues with, "That suit looks FANTASTIC! Is it an Armani? Very nice!"

He immediately calls the waiter over and says, "Look. I keep hearing these voices telling me how great my tie, my shoes, and my suit look - what's up with that? Am I GOING CRAZY??"

"Oh," the waiter nonchalantly replies. "It's just the peanuts."

"The PEANUTS?!?" the astonished man asks, staring at the bowl beside him.

"Yes," replies the waiter, "…they're complimentary."

[User Picture]From: theslaughtered
2005-10-20 08:20 pm (UTC)

Eh, I couldn't remember the whole thing, but this is what I thaught of.

A guy stops by an old ladies home to deliver her groceries. She asks him if he could stay for a while and talk with her. He happily agrees to and sits down across from her. She starts telling him stories as people do, but some of them were quite uncomfortable, but since he didn't want to be rude, every time she said something awkward, he would grab a handful of peanuts.
So, he gets to the bottom of the bowl and is about to leave. The old woman asks him if he could please put her groceries away, he obliges of course. When he gets to a bag of sweets, she tells him to put them in the dish.

"I love sweets, but since my teeth aren't good anymore, so I always suck the chocolate off the peanuts."

(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: randomposting
2005-10-21 10:11 pm (UTC)

Re: Eh, I couldn't remember the whole thing, but this is what I thaught of.

Cute. ;) And I was afraid you were going somewhere naughty with it.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: theslaughtered
2005-10-25 10:32 pm (UTC)

Re: Eh, I couldn't remember the whole thing, but this is what I thaught of.

Dirty, dirty, dirty girl!
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)