In response to a book I found called "Why Marry Jewish" and the letter to someone sharing my name at the end of the book, a friend and I composed this and sent it to the author.
Dear Mr. Kornbluth,
I stumbled across your book and noticed there was a letter to me from my
father in the back. This threw me for a loop since I was not Jewish. I
called my dad and yelled at him for insisting that I date Jewish, when
I'm not even Jewish (and for not telling me that I was Jewish all these
blasphemous years). I was also angry that he didn't tell me directly,
but instead waited for me to find this book. He pretended not to know
what I was talking about, but the evidence was plain for me to see. Now
we haven't talked for a year and a half. Why are you trying to tear
apart my family?
I began to feel disgraceful, so I tried dating a Jewwess. She was nice
but she would not marry me because she didn't believe that I was Jewish
due to my strong Hawaiian features and obviously Japanese name and
uncircumsised genetalia. Oy vey! Do you have any love advice for me,
since I don't know where I fit in to the whole Jewish dating scene anymore?
Please write soon. I am wandering in the desert like so many Jews